On confidence and interest

What does it take to be interesting? A question that should precede that is whose interest are you considering? If it's your life, then that must be you. It follows that you should fill your life with things you find interesting to be taken as such.

Consider your interests and those of others. Firstly, you must develop some of your own to be able to compare them. Secondly, the degree of overlapping interests could be a noisy signal, sometimes posing tropes as taste. Morevoer, the interests you have are rarely static, and often influenced by those around you. This lends weight to the adage of being the sum average of your five closest friends.

Why did I begin to answer this question? Because attraction and interest are often portrayed going hand in hand in movies and books (the mysterious 007 agent elicits intrigue in every woman he meets). However, since it was never about attracting everyone, it's enough that those who are attracted to you will find you interesting. If there's nothing to find interesting, then there's no mystery and no fun. That's not an excuse to play games, but as long as you are going deep into ideas and trying cool stuff, you will satisfy your own craving to be interesting and others will catch up.

Being interesting also relates to something more abstract: confidence. Here's what I think is the secret to confidence (or at least appearing so):

Be a flower. Any one you want. When someone stops by to admire its beauty it makes no difference to the flower, just as it is when someone skips past it without a glance. The flower just looks back at people, unconcerned by external perception. There is no denying or changing the fact that the flower is a flower and exactly that flower. It may shed some petals and grown new ones but it will still be that flower. Shouting "you are actually a transformer" won't change that. To the flower, attributing self-worth or even defining it seems inconsequential to existence. The flower is, was, and will be, until it dies.

This is you without any ego. Let go of your ego and you will be an amazing flower. You will simply be concerned with things that interests you and nothing else. You will be kind and generous to those around you with an open heart. You will pursue skills and opportunities that show you cool and interesting things. You see no past and chase no future. You find the interesting parts of everything around you. You share the joy and pain of others, and you let go of being right or first. You simply pursue your interests and excellence will follow, with things and people. Or not. The flower doesn't care. That's confidence, a complete erasure of any notion of self worth. Just interests that are fleeting, like life.